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Most of what makes you happy in life has nothing to do with money, and realizing that once you have money can be a painful admission.
The richer you become, the less likely people around you are to tell you when you’re wrong, crazy, mean, or oblivious.
Sometimes what made you successful was worry and anxiety, and you can’t let go of that when you’re rich.
I think what many people really want from money is the ability to stop thinking about money. To have enough money that they can stop thinking about it and focus on other stuff. It’s this weird relationship: They become obsessed with making money with the hope that someday they can ignore it altogether.
That obsession is fueled by stress and anxiety. It often shows up as career ambition, aggressive investing, and Type-A motivation.
Then, once they become rich, they realize they can’t let go of that stress. It’s become ingrained in their identity.
They work 80 hours a week because they want to eventually never have to work at all. But once they have enough money to retire, they can’t cut back because they don’t know how to do anything else in life but work.
A lot of financial planners I’ve talked to say one of their biggest challenges is getting clients to spend money in retirement. Even an appropriate, conservative amount of money. Frugality and savings become such a big part of some people’s identity that they can’t ever switch gears.
I think for some people that’s actually fine. Watching money compound gives them more pleasure than they would get spending it.
But those whose ultimate goal is to stop thinking about money are stuck. Refusing to recognize that you’ve met your goal can be as bad as never meeting the goal to begin with.
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Quick wealth is fragile wealth.
I love the idea that the speed in which you made your wealth is the halflife for how fast you can lose it. Double your money in a year? Don’t be surprised when you lose half of it just as quickly. Blitzscaling? Blitz failing.
Two things happen with quick, fragile wealth.
One is that money that comes easily tends to be spent easily. When money comes quickly, the emotional cost of blowing it on something frivolous is low. You are only careful with something when it’s dear to you. Spending quick money that you didn’t invest much time or energy into earning can feel like the equivalent of a one-night stand: impulsive and prone to regret. Old money wants a tax shelter, new money wants a Lambo.
The other is that the quicker the wealth was made, the higher the odds it came from luck that will revert just as fast.
Put those two together, and whenever you see a surge of quick wealth – crypto in 2021 was a good example – you know it’s going to end poorly, as luck converts to risk and conspicuous consumption converts to inconspicuous lifestyle debt.
samt
No one is going to remember you in 100 years.
So you might as well focus on what’s going to make you happy now, instead of what money might buy you in the future.
There is a Scottish proverb: Be happy while you are living, for you are a long time dead.